The world is currently in a radical change and a lot is happening on social media about the callout culture, about people calling or naming other people and shaming them for things they consider out of order, unethical, racist or privileged feel or biased behavior in any way.
Naming and shaming people is not my preferred way of facilitating change. I found that shaming people to allow open discussion or self-reflection on behaviors is usually not helpful.
Call-out culture and the kind of shameful toxic aspect while being able to understand the anger and feelings of people who feel that their needs have been unheard and unsatisfied for a long time, finally having a voice and finally the one I’m not a huge fan of shame as a tactic or way of talking about things that have long been celebrated across society.
However, we as trainers have the opportunity to be ready to look for our own rejection, our own prejudices and to notice this and to promote a greater awareness of ourselves and also for our customers in a compassionate way.
How do we do that?
How do we help someone?
We all have blind spots. It’s not a bad thing. It’s only part of human nature. Everyone has blind spots. Everyone denies some things.
How do we go through these blind spots?
How do we move it?
How do we open up and direct the light of our consciousness onto areas to which we were blind without having to shame ourselves or others?
Because shame really just drops us and makes us shut up and not look at these things and not talk about these things when we want to be embarrassed.
But when we come from a place of compassion and openness and say, “Hey, we all have things we’re blind to, let’s discuss, let’s open our consciousness, let’s get into deeper insights about them.”
There are a couple of premises or beliefs about NLP that I have found very useful here.
One of them is that people are not there and everyone is doing the best they can with the resources available. The other thing that people don’t necessarily always understand or put into practice is that the most important piece of information about the person is their behavior. It’s not their intention, it’s not what they felt, it’s not what to do. It’s what they actually did.
I will go into more detail and how it affects us as trainers and how we can use these prerequisites, these beliefs to coach ourselves and coach our clients through blind spots in denial, without having to be ashamed, but a deeper conversation and opening up questions that will lead to deeper insight, awareness, and an intrinsic degree of change. Not “You should be doing this because I said so,” but a real heart-opening change where the person comes to a higher realization and then moves on to an intrinsic desire to change because they are moving to a new level of Opened consciousness.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same mindset that created them.”
– Albert Einstein
Pointing blame and feelings of shame will not be the solution here. Love, compassion, opening to a higher level of consciousness … Not spiritual handling, mind you, but with this framing, with this way of thinking, with this awareness that goes deeply into the practical actions and the practical behaviors that lead to results with which I agree, that I agree that my values, morals and ethics are in order and that I want to move on in the world.
It’s like looking really clearly at what I’m doing, how that contributes to the results I get in the world, and whether that’s okay or not. Start opening these questions to deeper levels of investigation.
I think this is really useful for the coaching industry right now. And if we can sort that out, we can be pillars, beacons, guides, and mediators for the rest of the world to sort it out.
We are allowed here first as trainers, as super coaches, as those who are ready to do this deep inner work that is scary. It’s scary to deal with your own prejudices and consider that something you have believed would accidentally hurt someone or run counter to your own values your entire life.
The willingness to overcome the discomfort of this cognitive dissonance is so important for sustainable transformation.
The world is in a transformation. We as leaders of transformation need to reach a higher level of skills, abilities, compassion, depth of consciousness and awareness in order to lead with and be part of this change.
If you’d like to continue the discussion with that, I’ll go into the practical details and explain how to use these prerequisites, how to use them for yourself, how to use them with your clients. Join the SuperCoach Society. I will jump in immediately and continue the conversation there.
Lots of love. I hope to see you there.
If you are a coach, an aspiring coach, a business coach, a personal trainer, a fitness trainer, a mindset coach or an intuitive coach, if you describe yourself as a coach of any kind, I want to see you there and help you to rise to the next level of income, impact and influence in your world.
Speak to you soon.
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