The choice is over. Donald Trump lost. Joe Biden won. However, Donald Trump is angry and struggling to admit defeat. Even after he leaves office, Trumpism will be alive in America and around the world. Our country will remain in turmoil until we understand and heal the underlying causes that are based on the wounding of the male soul.
On May 7, 2016, six months before the previous election, and long before most people, including Donald Trump, thought he would have a chance to become the next President of the United States, I published this article: The Real Reason Donald Trump will be the next president. “In the article I said this:
“ISIS? Trust me, I’ll get rid of them shortly, “says Mr. Trump. Too many people in the world and an economic system that keeps people in poverty? “Don’t worry, I’ll build a wall to keep illegal immigrants out,” says Trump, “and I’ll get Mexico to pay for it.”
People struggling with the rise of female power and prestige? “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media writes as long as you have a young and beautiful piece **,” remarked Donald Trump. White men are uncomfortable with the non-white world? He has an app for that too. “We will ban Muslims from America and mock and shame women until they are back in their proper place.”
If you think that all of this is ridiculous and that the American people would never choose someone like this, you don’t know exactly how our subconscious simplifies the world and protects our psyche from being overwhelmed.
Mr Trump appears to have suffered abuse, neglect, and abandonment as a child. Many in America resonate with his anger. We know from Mr. Trump’s own writings that he was an aggressive and violent child who grew up, was sent to military school at a young age, and had difficulty controlling his temper.
We now have a deeper understanding of the trauma at the core of Donald Trump’s life, from his niece Mary L. Trump, PhD. In her book Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Made the Most Dangerous Man in the World, she writes:
“Today, Donald is a lot like he was when he was three years old – unable to grow, learn or develop, unable to regulate his emotions, moderate his reactions, or absorb and synthesize information. Donald’s mother fell ill when he was two and a half years old and suddenly deprived him of his main source of comfort and human contact. Donald’s father, Fred, could not empathize with Donald’s plight, so that his son’s fears and longings remained unsmoothed. Love meant nothing to Fred; he expected obedience, that was all. Donald suffered hardships that would terrify him for life. “
It also offers insights into why Donald has trouble admitting defeat:
“The rules in the house, at least as they were for the boys – being tough at all costs, lying is okay, admitting you’re wrong or apologizing is weakness – clashed with the rules he encountered at school. ”
In Donald’s view of the world, Mary Trump concluded, “There can only be one winner and everyone else is loser.”
There are millions of people in the US and around the world who grew up with trauma and unconsciously resonate with people like Donald Trump. Fortunately, healing is possible for individuals, families, countries, and the world.
Thomas Hübl is an expert in understanding trauma and recently published a powerful book: Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds. He says,
“I often describe the collective trauma field like this: Imagine that you grow up in an apartment and have not taken a step outside in your entire life. And one day someone visits you and asks you, “How does the house look from the outside?” And you can’t tell them because you never saw it. You have just seen the inside of your apartment. What I’m saying is that I don’t think any of us have ever seen the world outside of the millennia of trauma. But the thing is, the absent part of us is usually absent and only visible through symptoms, but is never the thing itself. “
To understand the trauma we need to go deeper. Systems scientist Otto Scharmer and his team have developed a number of wonderful principles and practices that are described in his numerous books, including Theory U: Leading from the Future as It Arises, and which help us to understand and prevent trauma. “I see three big differences in many countries, contexts and systems,” says Scharmer. “The ecological divide, the social divide, and the spiritual divide that result from the separation of self from nature, self from other and self from self.” That’s just the background.
He goes on to say:
“Violence usually occurs when you reactivate the trauma. We cannot understand the Middle East without the Crusades. We cannot understand it without the Holocaust. You are a deeper trauma; They can be activated and then lead to violence. From one point you can say: History is a repetition of a re-enactment of a past trauma. “
Realizing that so much of our history is trauma-based can be disturbing and depressing, but Scharmer and his team offer real hope for the future. “Something new is also happening,” says Scharmer. “In the 20th century it was totalitarianism with Hitler and Stalin and so on that we hadn’t seen before. And something is happening in this century that again cannot be understood with a 20th century lens. ”
This picture is from my colleague in Cambridge, Kelvy Bird, who is also a co-founder of the Presencing Institute. And it shows the current moment in which we live. This is a moment of disruption as seen on the left. And a moment of disruption means that we are here and the future will be different. We don’t know exactly how it will be otherwise, we know less about it. But what we know least is how to move from here to there.
“And the face-to-face perspective of this situation is a perspective that suggests that we need to take a journey to cope with disruptions and get from here to there. In part, it’s an outward journey, which means going to the edges of the system. And in part, it’s an inner journey that connects to the deeper layers of our own experience. “
My own journey has focused on understanding male trauma, the wounding of the male soul, and how we can heal. Like Donald Trump, I grew up with a wounded father who was angry and abusive. It took me a lifetime to heal. Millions of men and women have suffered similar injuries and need healing.
I believe the father’s wound is a problem that surpasses any other problem in its impact on men, women and society. Without the presence of a loving, supportive father in the home, we become like puppets on a string, separated from our true selves. In our wounding we can become vengeful, aggressive and dangerous.
I was fortunate to have a loving wife who encouraged me to seek help. I hope all wounded men and the women who love them find the help they need. The world needs healing of the male soul more than ever.
Check the following resources:
Thomas Huebl. https://thomashuebl.com/
Otto Schumer. https://www.ottoscharmer.com/
Jed Diamond. https://menalive.com/
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