In the modern world of social media, we have tons of dating apps on hand. With these handy dandy tools, we can connect with thousands or even millions of people in just a few clicks.
As overwhelming as it is, what a cool opportunity to form community and even romantic relationships.
Especially amid the COVID-19 pandemic, when the norms for meeting new people have changed and personal options are limited.
But understanding how to navigate online dating can be difficult. Because as much as it feels like playing a game on your phone, you’re preoccupied with people’s hearts, especially your own.
Your friends at Intimina are here to share some tips, tricks, and guides on how to be authentic when dating online.
No shame in the game
First of all, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
While this may not apply to you, it is good to get it public as online dating can be associated with a lot of stigma. I hear it all the time when I’m talking to friends. Things like “This is my first time”, “I know it’s weird, but …” or “I’ll lie about where we met”.
While this is perfectly understandable, online dating is an incredible tool for meeting one of our most basic needs – human connection.
So why not use what you have ?!
But also – don’t play games
Do we have to say it again? These are people’s hearts, including your own. You are not doing anyone a favor by playing or manipulating games.
When you talk to a new person, you get in touch with yourself and how you communicate. Is this the angle you’d like to be in a relationship with? Are you true to yourself Are you fair to this other person? Do you have ulterior motives in speaking to this person?
Because if you want to have an authentic online dating experience, you have to drop all of that.
What do you want?
At the beginning of the online appointment, check for yourself what you are looking for. A buddy? Platonic friends? Casual dating? A long-term partner? A threesome? A polyamorous situation?
The options are many and it is incredibly helpful for you and anyone you chat with to make clear what you are both looking for.
Even so, it’s okay not to know what to expect from a situation – but make sure to share it. It’s as simple as, “Hey! I really enjoy getting to know you. Just want to let you know that I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for, but I’d like to keep talking and see what happens. What about you?”
What are we talking about
The cool thing about online dating is that you can improve your flirting skills with multiple people at the same time and know what kind of dialogues you get upset when you talk to a new person.
Even if you tend to be shy, if you are just your (really great) self, you have literally nothing to lose. Push yourself to be as communicative as possible.
Of course you want to learn the basics about someone’s life, such as B. where he comes from, what he does and what his passions and hobbies are. Try to phrase these questions in a way that both of you are excited.
Instead of “What hobbies are you interested in?” “What passions do you enlighten?” You can ask funny icebreaker questions like “What’s your dream sandwich?” or “If you could go on an adventure now, what would it be?”.
When you make an effort to engage in conversation, you instantly know if someone is worth your time and how much effort they’re giving back.
You also want to ask about topics that are really important to you. Are there any potential deal breakers that would ban someone from the race? These can be their views on marriage, children, politics, social justice, or general views on life.
Know when to go ahead
If you are unfamiliar with the term scarcity mentality, it is time you learned. Scarcity mentality is the belief or fear that there won’t be enough. In terms of dating, it looks like you’re going to be dating someone you know won’t suit you. Fearing you won’t find another.
If you hesitate, join us. Don’t be afraid to say no and break things off, I promise you there are a lot more fish in the sea.
Trust your gut feeling
Your intuition knows.
As impersonal as screens may be, your intuition still speaks to you and lets you know if someone is wrong or right.
Notice when you are talking to someone in any way. You may experience actual physical sensations in your body such as: B. your bowels or your heart, and tell you that this is not right.
Or that it is absolutely right!
Be gentle with yourself
Lastly, be gentle with your sweet self.
Online dating can come with a lot of rejection. But do you know that every perceived “rejection” just wasn’t the right person for you.
It can be exhausting. If you’re feeling burned out or using online dating as a crutch, be sure to take a break and even delete the apps for a period of time. You can also try setting time limits on them so that you don’t feel yourself swiping.
Finding love doesn’t always feel easy. So remember to stay open to opportunities and be true to yourself. Once you’ve found a new treasure, it’s time to create your dream distance date!
Natasha’s passion for reproductive health began at the age of fourteen when she was present at the birth of her youngest sister. Her incredible experiences as a birthing doula gave her insights into the magical realm of childbirth, pregnancy and everything in between. Your role as an obstetrician is her way of serving as an activist. She uses writing as an important educational tool to bring about changes in our view of reproductive health as a whole.