To say that erections are mysterious is an understatement. When we were younger, erections seemed to happen at the most random and embarrassing moments! As we got older, erections became a symbol of masculinity and deeply connected to our personal identity. For most men, erections are induced and seem to come on their own at the right time. Then there are times when you are dying to have an erection and for some reason it either doesn’t show up at the party or leaves a little early. Our relationship with erections is complicated to say the least.
Most men rely on an erection to be the focus of all sexual expression and pleasure. And while we definitely want erections on the menu, it’s always important to remember that erections are not necessary for either ejaculation or orgasm. Erections are not required to enjoy sexual pleasure. Many men are surprised to discover this. I find that when a man gradually develops erectile dysfunction, he will often find out for himself through mere masturbation. In men with sudden onset of erectile dysfunction, such as However, after prostate cancer surgery or trauma, they are almost sexually immobilized because they cannot get an erection. Many patients have been amazed that they can experience orgasm and ejaculation with a flaccid penis.
Does it feel different? Yes, easily. The muscle contractions are different; they are somewhat diminished. Some men believe that the orgasm can be a little less intense, other men say that with a flaccid penis they experience the orgasm more fully throughout their groin area. But no matter what, all men agree that an orgasm / ejaculation with a flaccid penis is better than no orgasm / ejaculation at all!
Obviously, penetrative intercourse isn’t possible, but with sex education and a sense of exploration, one can find fulfilling sexual activity. Masturbation techniques will definitely change. With a flaccid penis, it is impossible to just stroke the penis, so many men develop various types of penile stimulation. Lubricant is mandatory. We also recommend men to use body massagers that are much more powerful than the common sex toy vibrator. I instruct men to simply wrap the penis around the vibrating head and hold it there, specifically applying pressure to the frenulum. It may take a bit of practice, but there is no reason not to have more fun. It is very common in men who cannot get an erection to avoid having their partner play with their flaccid penis. There is often a basic sense of shame about the lack of an erection. I often hear from partners how much they enjoy performing oral sex on a flaccid penis because it’s softer, they don’t gag, it’s fun, and it’s just different.
Yes, erections remain a mystery. But let’s keep in mind that erections are not mandatory. Our goal is to give every man who wants an erection the ability to have an erection – and trust me, we can. But just because we don’t have an erect penis shouldn’t prevent us from having sexual fun. For more information and ways to improve your sex life, contact us for a free telephone consultation.
We’re here to help.